<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>you were never his girl, but, god i wanted to be yours by Icealeen</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552971">you were never his girl, but, god i wanted to be yours</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icealeen/pseuds/Icealeen'>Icealeen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Saints Row</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, More so at the end, Not Beta Read, Slight changes to canon, but he's just playa's ride or die, i am too lazy to come up with a name, johnny is there, lin and the boss are very gay for each other, mostly does follow canon though, oh yeah boss is referred to as playa, this could be anybody's boss, tried to make playa as neutrally described as possible</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 08:33:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,781</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26552971</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icealeen/pseuds/Icealeen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into the relationship between Playa and Lin as they get closer than either of them imagined.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Boss (Saints Row) &amp; Johnny Gat, Female Boss (Saints Row) &amp; Lin (Saints Row), Female Boss/Lin (Saints Row)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>you were never his girl, but, god i wanted to be yours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>randomly writing fic for a game from 2006 is something that can actually be so personal<br/>for real though, impulse urge to write a fic did this to me and now you have an attempt at some good ol' linboss content from someone who's ao3 account was dead until now<br/>there's a lot of game dialogue used, sorry about that, but I added some to the original cutscenes and changed some stuff entirely to fit my narrative of "lin and playa as they have Gay Thoughts about each other", essentially just stuck my gay little gremlin hands in and did a lil hand jive in the canon until it worked for me</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>  Bundled in an oversized purple coat and a beanie with an accompanying pair of baggy pants, Playa stepped into the dilapidated old church on 3rd Street and wandered to the far side of the group, keeping her eyes on the rest of the saints gathered in the room. Julius was assigning his top runners with their marked gangs, harping on about the dangers of the Lopez family and their Colombian connections. Playa watched keenly as Julius, Johnny Gat and Troy went on about the Vice Kings, absolutely fascinated by how Troy's cigarette never once fell from his mouth as he spoke. </p><p> "Who's got the Rollerz?" Dex asked, effectively ending the argument before it really had a chance to take off.</p><p> "I do." The voice that echoed around the cold church was feminine as the woman it belonged to sauntered into the room as if she owned it, confidence in every step.</p><p> "Lin? The fuck you wearin' blue for?" Johnny's face crinkled at her clothes, a black halter crop top and blue sweatpants with a couple of accessories decorating her arms.</p><p> </p><p>  Ignoring him, she swayed as she made her way to the front of the group, directly in front of Julius who explained her position as a spy in the Westside Rollerz. Playa's eyes were glued to her, her dark hair elegantly held up with a swish of a fringe across her forehead. Her eyes were dark and dusted with a deep pinkish eyeshadow across her lids, a similar shade gracing her lips. Playa stepped back a half step as her cheeks heated, hoping the shadows would hide her struggle to drag her eyes away from this new woman’s lips.</p><p> “I didn’t think the Rollerz pimped hos…” Playa’s eyes snapped to the new speaker, some random nobody prick she’s seen hanging around the church, talking a big game. She was half-tempted to beat him down but Lin knocked the little shit to the floor first.</p><p> “Any other comments?” She asked, looking around at the group of men, her eyes flitting over Playa for a second, sending a red-hot tingle running down her spine.</p><p> “Yeah, when you punch, don’t throw your shoulder so much,” Johnny said, a stupid smirk on his face as Lin just rolled her eyes.</p><p> “Shut up, Johnny…”</p><p> “Hey, I’m just sayin’...”</p><p> </p><p>  Playa nodded along as Julius told her to go and help one of the lieutenants out after the meeting was over, her eyes drifting over to Lin and Johnny as they talked amongst themselves. Johnny gave an acknowledging nod to Playa, Lin turning and really giving her a once over, Playa’s body heating up at the action as she found her legs pulling her towards them both.</p><p> “Lin, this is Julius’s new boy. He don’t do much talkin’ but Troy said he’s a good shot and Julius thinks he’s a good fit.” Johnny tells Lin, nudging Playa a little with his elbow.</p><p> “Well, that’s good enough for me. Hey, I’m Lin,” She said, her eyes scanning Playa’s face as she tried to catch her breath and manage a small nod in her direction. “I’m the best damn racer the Saints got, not that there’s much competition there, car-crash.”</p><p> </p><p>  Lin’s eyes focus on Johnny with a single eyebrow raised at him as he shrugs the accusation off, she gives him a grin which makes Playa's heart thump so loud she worries for a moment that they can hear it. Her eyes move from Johnny to Playa, looking at her face closer, even taking a step closer with a curious tilt of her head. A small smile crept up Lin’s face as she stared at Playa, who tried to indistinctly pull her coat further around her body to hide her features and keep her face as unaffected as she could. Seeing Lin, a clear badass and one of the Saints’ lieutenants, still be disrespected as a woman made Playa decide to stick to her decision to let everyone keep assuming she’s a dude. Johnny looked between the two women, as Playa tried to avert her gaze from the two higher-ups, Lin letting out a soft chuckle under her breath. The sound brought goosebumps to Playa’s skin, making an almost uncomfortable churning in her stomach as it replayed in her mind over and over. God, she’s so fucked…</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>  “Assholes...” Lin cursed at the Roller pricks walking away from her as Playa approached her, still equipped with the big coat and beanie. “I swear to god, we’re not gonna be able to kill these bastards fast enough.”</p><p> Playa nodded in agreement, glaring after the sexist bastards until they fully rounded the corner. Lin walked over to Playa and put a hand on her arm, forcing her eyes to fly back to the woman in front of her, wider than she wanted them to be.</p><p> “I get why you’re hiding away from them. The men in these gangs never wanna respect a woman in power.” ‘<em> Ah… So she knows…’ </em>“All they think about is how much they need to pay you to get their dicks wet.”</p><p> “Do you think Julius would be mad?” Playa asked, her voice wavering, the woman fearing what kind of punishment their leader would put her through for a lie like this.</p><p> “Not if I have anything to say about it… Don’t worry about that too much, small fry would definitely use it against you but Johnny and the others wouldn’t care too much.” Lin assured her, her hand now softly running up and down Playa’s arm in a comforting manner.</p><p> </p><p>  “Anyway, aside from the macho bullshit, nothing much has come up yet.” Lin started, letting her hand drop to her side as she explained about a shipment of cars and what she wanted Playa to do with them, stopping every so often to take a puff on her cigarette. Playa tried desperately to focus on her words and not the tingling sensation in her arm, her skin almost burning from the memory of Lin’s hand. Playa internally cursed her stupid thick sleeves for blocking most of her touch. Her eyes stuck to the fringe that sometimes drooped over one of her eyes, the need to brush it back threatening to spill out and make the interaction way more awkward than necessary.</p><p> “Now, I’d like to chat some more but you should probably get out of here before someone sees us.” The opening of a car door pulled Playa out of her internal conflict, the woman running a hand over her face for a moment before looking over at Lin again.</p><p> </p><p>  “Keep your schedule open, if I can sneak away from the Rollerz for a minute, I’ll hit you up and we’ll get to know each other a little more, alright?” Lin’s head tilted as she looked over at Playa, the woman’s mouth dropping open slightly as she nodded diligently, if a bit eagerly.</p><p> “You’re allowed to talk around me, remember?”</p><p> “Oh, uh- yeah, I know. I just…” Lin stepped forward, placing a finger against Playa’s lips then sliding around her chin to then curl under it, tilting her head up slightly. </p><p> “No need to be nervous, Playa.” The intensity of Lin’s dark eyes boring into Playa’s caused goosebumps to rise across her skin, Playa’s tongue darted out to wet her lips nervously as she swallowed down the lump in her throat.</p><p> “Who said I’m nervous?” <em> ‘She said, nervously… Goddamn, idiot. Shit shit shit shit shit.’ </em></p><p> “Cute that you’re trying so hard,” Lin practically whispered, dropping her hand and backing away from Playa, taking the last puff of her cigarette before dropping it to the floor and stepping on it.</p><p> </p><p>  Playa clamped her eyes shut and took a few steadying breaths, listening to Lin get in the car and the door slamming shut. She’d liked girls before, sure, but this was different. She felt so <em> weak </em> around Lin, the woman had a way of melting her from just a look and she’d only met the chick twice. Opening her eyes, she watched Lin roll her window down and stick her head out at her with a sly smile. </p><p> “You gonna stand there all day? You got some cars to jack, girl.” Playa grinned, shaking her head slightly as she looked to the ground for a giggle then looked back up at the sly woman.</p><p> “And what if I did stand here all day?”</p><p> “Hm, you’d make a pretty statue.” </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>  Playa walked into the nightclub, tripping over her own feet, and looked around for the woman in question. When Lin called her to meet at the club, she’d asked her to dress nice and not in the “dude disguise” as she’d taken to calling it. Lin appeared almost out of nowhere, grabbing Playa’s hand, fingers curling deftly around her own, and practically dragged Playa out onto the dancefloor. Lin’s hand slid across to Playa’s exposed back, the dress she’d worn had been backless, purple of course, and barely reached past her ass and the golden gladiator heels really worked at extending her legs. Playa’s hair had at last been released from the beanie and Lin seemed to appreciate it, letting one of her hands slip up to the back of Playa’s neck as she played with the hair that rested there. Lin swayed with Playa to the music, her normal blue sweatpants replaced with a short skirt and her top a differently styled crop top, in a deep purple hue.</p><p> </p><p>  Playa nervously let her hands stay on Lin’s bared hips, her skin burning from the contact and closeness between her and Lin. She didn’t dare speak, for fear her voice would quiver and make her look as nervous as she felt. Lin didn’t bother to speak either, the smirk on her face making it clear she knew what was going on in Playa’s head. They just stood there, swaying to the club beat, their movements not matching the music or the dancers around them. Playa honestly couldn’t have cared less, as long as Lin’s hands stayed right where they were, in her hair, on her back. She couldn’t even try to fight the grin that spread across her face when she looked into Lin’s eyes, the club lights sparkling in them and the smile on her face almost blinding Playa. </p><p> “This is so nice, I feel bad for making it a business thing but I gotta say something,” Lin announced, putting her head closer to Playa’s ear, her voice low.</p><p> “Go for it, we can keep dancing while you talk.” Playa shivered at the feeling of Lin’s breath on her ear, the feeling alone was enough to placate the disappointment at the thought of going from this straight back to business.</p><p> </p><p>  “Good, I’m not through with you yet. Those cars you stole have been rigged to blow once the engine reaches a high enough temperature. I need you to make sure those cars get nice and hot.” At this, Lin let her hand drift lower, lightly brushing over Playa’s ass as the woman tried her hardest not to outwardly sigh at the contact. “There’s a race going down in Chinatown tomorrow night, and I think you should give them some tough competition.”</p><p> “You think I could even <em> be </em> competition for a buncha motorheads?” Playa wondered, pulling her head back to look Lin in the eye, not prepared for the fondness in her eyes.</p><p> “Oh, I’m damn sure of it. I know these guys. If you’re in the lead for the final stretch, they’re gonna hit the nos to blow past you. Once they do-” Lin started, leaning her head close enough that her lips brushed against the shell of Playa’s ear. “-boom.”</p><p> </p><p>  Playa’s entire body shivered, a sigh finally escaping as she felt Lin’s lower hand slowly drift back up to her lower back, leaving goosebumps in its wake, the other hand still firmly in her hair. Playa let one of her hands crawl across Lin’s lower back, mirroring the gentle yet seductive action and let herself smirk when she felt Lin’s breath hitch in response.</p><p> “As soon as those cars are wrecked, get the hell outta there.” Lin’s voice had a quiver to it and Playa bit her lip at the thought of it. “You’re no good to us dead.”</p><p> “That the only reason?” Playa asked, glad to have the power for the moment as Lin placed her head softly against Playa’s shoulder.</p><p> “No…” </p><p> </p><p>  Lin didn’t need to elaborate further. The two stayed there, hours, minutes, neither of them knew. The blaring music, the feel of soft hands on bare skin, the breath on each other’s necks. By the time they left the nightclub their heads were spinning despite neither of them having a drink, their hands intertwined as they stumbled into the cool night air. 1 am, 3 am, it didn’t matter. Lin’s phone chimed, and she reluctantly checked it, her hand never leaving Playa’s. Her fingers gripped around Playa’s ring finger as if her life depended on this one point of contact. They knew the chime meant it was back to business, again. Their eyes met as Lin snapped her phone shut, irritation in the lines of her eyes. Playa, slightly crestfallen, began to pull her hand away and took a step backwards.</p><p> </p><p>  Lin sighed deeply, her eyes closed for a half-second before she yanked on Playa’s arm, her other hand grasping her face as she smashed their lips together, teeth awkwardly clattering. Playa’s heart stopped for a moment, her brain shutting down while she processed what was happening. Discouraged, Lin started to pull back, so Playa pushed forwards, letting her lips move in time with Lin’s. Their entwined hands held tight, Playa’s spare hand landed in Lin’s hair as Lin’s tongue slipped into her mouth. Playa moaned softly, Lin taking the noise as encouragement and deepening the kiss, her hand slipping to grip the back of Playa’s neck. After a few long moments, Lin pulled back to let them breathe, resting her head against Playa’s as she looked into her eyes.</p><p> “Might not do much talkin’, but you sure as hell know how to kiss.” Playa laughed, noticing Lin’s smeared lipstick and she bit her lip, knowing hers would be the same.</p><p> “Not so bad yourself.”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>  Walking into the crowded tea house, Playa made her way over to where she saw Lin was sat, purposely bumping the guy in front of her who was scrambling out of the seat next to the woman of the hour.</p><p>“Fuckin’ asshole.” Playa, span on her heel, squaring up to the man in a way she learned from watching Johnny Gat around the church, the man nervously walking away.</p><p> “I tell ya, you and me are always making new friends.” Lin’s snarky voice lured Playa into the recently vacated seat, turning slightly to face Lin as the woman placed a hand on Playa’s thigh. “Back to the ‘dude disguise’, I see, good. Things are moving too slow, we gotta step it up.”</p><p> “What have you got for me?” Playa asked, making sure her beanie stayed in place as she tilted her head at Lin, one hand sitting on top of Lin’s wandering one.</p><p> “I hear a guy named Joseph Price calls the shots. I don’t know much about him ‘cept that he’s friends with some mechanic called Donnie. If we get in good with Price’s crew, we’ll always be one step ahead of those fuckers. Here’s the plan.” Lin dived right into the explanation, her hand running up and down Playa’s leg as if she wanted her to zone out. “Go and tear up Donnie’s shop. Right when you’re about to finish off Price’s little buddy, I’ll rush in and save the day.”</p><p> </p><p>  “Lin the hero, saving little mechanics from asshole Saints like me… I can see it.” Playa smirked at the idea, Lin giving a playful scoff as she moved her hand to give the woman a shove, taking a puff on her cigarette. </p><p> “Okay, smartass, you better make it look good, but don’t you dare mess up my car.” Lin sent a glare at Playa at this, Playa making a mental note to do exactly that, the thrill of pissing off Lin too good to pass up. “If we’re lucky, Donnie will arrange a meet with Price.”</p><p> “Hope that’s all he’ll do, or maybe I’ll <em> ‘accidentally’ </em> go back to his little shop and drop a round or two in his ass.” Lin laughed at that, rolling her neck slightly as she leaned in almost too intimately, the memory of their kiss leaving Playa’s lips tingling with excitement.</p><p> “You jealous, Playa?” Smirking, Lin almost closed the gap, her breathing making her lips lightly brush against Playa’s every once in a while.</p><p> “Maybe…” Playa whispered, needing to lick her dry lips but scared of the consequences should her tongue touch Lin’s lips too.</p><p> “Thanks for buying my tea…” Lin said, pulling away so fast it gave Playa whiplash, the air suddenly cold as she spun in her seat, watching the sway in Lin’s hips as the woman sent a cheeky wink her way. <em> ‘You’ll pay for that one…’ </em></p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>  “Oh, fuck me!” Donnie shrieked as his hand quivered as he shot at Playa, the bullets entirely missing and making Playa snicker at the weedy little man’s attempts to hit her.</p><p> Playa lined up her aim with a smirk, taking out Donnie’s last bodyguard with a swift shot right through the man’s cheek. Seeing his last guard fall, the mechanic sprinted for the exit and Playa gladly gave chase, firing off a couple of bullets around him but careful not to actually hit him. Donnie burst through the doors, his feet slipping on the ground as he scrambled to get back to his feet. Playa slowed her chase, allowing him the chance to run. She fired another few shots, quickly reloading her trusty handgun before shooting some more while she followed him through the doors.</p><p> </p><p>  “Donnie, get down!” Playa’s head snapped to the new voice and she had to clamp her mouth shut to avoid the grin at seeing Lin’s car burst onto the scene. Lin’s hand popped out of the car window holding an SMG, the flurry of bullets providing Donnie with the “cover” needed to escape. </p><p> “What are you waitin’ for? Get in!” Donnie sprinted faster and slid over the hood of Lin’s car, the hood shrieking in response to the scratch he likely gave it.</p><p> “We gotta get outta here!” Donnie yelled, scampering wildly into the car like a spooked baby deer learning how to run for the first time.</p><p> “Ugh, I think you scratched my hood.” Lin turned to the little Bambi, disappointment clear in her usually even-toned voice.</p><p> “Look, I-” Getting sick of the chatter, Playa rushed out of hiding with a mad smirk on her face as she unloaded the rest of her round into Lin’s car.</p><p> </p><p>  “Motherfucker.” Her voice was filled with a barely concealed playfulness, her lips struggling to stay in a frown and she lifted her gun up to Playa with a smile in her eyes.</p><p> “Shit,” Playa whispered to herself, frantically diving behind a dumpster as Lin fired on her, the clattering of bullets into metal ringing in her ears. </p><p> Playa leaned her head back against the dumpster with the widest grin on her face, only stopping for half a second to think about how weird it was to flirt by shooting at each other, before going back to thinking about the woman who just unloaded two full clips of an SMG on her. Playa bit her lip, pulling her oversized coat closer around her as she heard the car scream as it took off and she could finally stand up with a dumb smile on her face.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>  Playa grinned while she drove to the bar, the last time her and Lin “met up” they didn’t even get to see each other. She was stuck talking with those three pricks, while Playa sat outside the window of the massive fucking rich-kid house for hours, listening in. Playa hated hearing Lin’s voice and not being there next to her. <em> ‘God, when did I care so fucking much?’ </em> Playa thought, her mind constantly filled with thoughts of Lin, the few late-night calls they’d had bringing heat to her face as she struggled to concentrate on her driving. Maybe one day they wouldn’t have to do things over the phone, maybe they’ll share a bed. Playa couldn’t fucking wait.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>  “Sharp called it, here he comes!” Bullets whipped past Playa’s head as she darted back behind the wall, her brain taking a moment to catch up to what was happening.</p><p> <em> ‘An ambush… Lin!’ </em>Playa burst back around the corner, two handguns out and began popping as many heads as she could spot, rage behind every pull of the trigger. She sprinted towards the bar, vaulting over it and landing her foot squarely in the face of the barkeeper, the cracking of his skull sounding out as they hit the floor. She crouched, giving the head another stomp while she reloaded and blindly shot in the direction of the bullets flying at her. She waited for a break in the shots and bounced up, grabbing as many headshots as her clip allowed before another reload was needed. She made her way towards the stairs, clearing the lower floor out and dashing up to them, finishing off the few stragglers she could see in the upstairs bar area. </p><p> </p><p>  Playa burst through the open door, seeing Lin unconscious and bruised, tied tightly to a chair. She rushed over, beginning to untie the knots on her wrists until she heard a sound behind her. Playa had barely managed to turn her head before the baseball bat made contact, knocking her to the floor as the wrinkled old bastard she knew to be William Sharp walked into her blurred vision, the whirring of a police car waning in the distance.</p><p> “Sounds like the cops are comin’, Mr Sharp.” The random Roller asshole squeaked, turning his head to the bastard behind him.</p><p> “Let’s take our guests for a ride, shall we?” He crooned out, the two men staring down at her as her laboured breaths sped up. She watched the baseball bat rise in her sight again and she is met with the familiar darkness of unconsciousness.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>  “Hey, I think we stopped moving. Are you listening? Are you even alive? Say something!” Lin’s voice called out in the darkness, the noise stirring Playa as the woman’s head pounded in pain.</p><p> “Lin…” Playa opened her eyes, or, did she? Everything was dark still.</p><p> “Oh, thank god. Where the fuck is my lighter..?” Playa squeezed her eyes shut once more, the banging in her head taking precedence over Lin’s voice. </p><p> “Lin.” Playa tried again, the volume of her voice barely above her own shallow breathing which had sped up as her mind settled on where they were. “I’m sorry… Shoulda known it was a trap, shoulda done better...”</p><p> “What are you even saying? Don’t start apologising until we get the hell outta here.” Lin’s voice was wavering too, a hitch unlike anything Playa had heard in the confident woman’s voice before. Like she was scared.</p><p> “Stay calm alright-” She said, hearing the approaching voices of Sharp and Donnie. “We’ll get through this. Together.”</p><p> </p><p>  A sudden brightness broke into the cramped space, the streetlights blaring down into Playa’s unadjusted eyes as she tried to focus on the faces of Donnie and William Sharp.</p><p> “Lin?” Donnie’s eyes widened at the sight of Lin tied up, beaten and panicked in the trunk of her own car. <em> ‘Bambi really wasn’t involved in this, huh…’ </em></p><p> “Donnie, listen to me, I swear to god-” She didn’t finish her sentence, the boom of Sharp’s pistol cut her off as he fired off two bullets. One in Lin’s chest. One in Playa’s hip.</p><p> “Lin!” Donnie yelled, his voice in anguish and harsh with emotions Playa hadn’t really thought he had for Lin.</p><p> “Take a deep breath and count to ten, Donnie.” Sharp’s cool, collected voice brought bile to Playa’s throat, her head swaying as she weakly lifted a hand to her blood-soaked hip.</p><p> “Count to ten!? You just shot my girl!” Playa felt anger seep into her bloodstream, her breathing more like a choking noise as she desperately willed her body to move to no avail. <em> ‘She’s not your fucking girl, Bambi. You don’t fucking own her!’  </em></p><p> “Yes, it’s tragic.” Sharp stared emotionlessly into the trunk, Playa’s lip curling in rage as she spat at him moments before the trunk snapped shut, casting her and Lin in darkness once more.</p><p> </p><p>  Their voices muffled but their intentions clear, Donnie angrily drove away as Sharp began pushing the car off the ledge he’d driven it to. Playa’s body finally kicked into gear, her feet finding the roof of the trunk and kicking as hard as she can. Her hip seared in pain, begging her to stop the frantic movements but she was far too determined and panicked. Lin beside her was just barely breathing, Playa’s arm against her back letting her feel the deep and slow huffs of breath. The car lurched, throwing Playa and Lin into each other as the car finally went hurtling into the river below.</p><p> </p><p>  “Hey…” Lin’s voice was weak now, her breathing getting rougher with each second, “stay… stay calm. We’re gonna get outta this.”</p><p> The water rose rapidly, already blanketing the two scared and bleeding women as Lin fidgeted around, Playa struggling to keep her head above water.</p><p> “I- I think I found my lighter.” She huffed a short laugh, nothing behind it except fear and Playa could feel the sting of tears hit her eyes at the hopeless sound.</p><p> “Did you hear that asshole Donnie?” Another hopeless laugh separated her words, as she manoeuvred around.  “He said I was his girl...”</p><p> The trunk popped open, water rushing in and giving Playa no other choice than to wildly swim to the surface, throat burning. </p><p> </p><p>  Breaking the surface of the cool water, Playa gasped heavily and she dived back under the water, lowering as far as she could until her lungs screamed for air and she had to resurface. The car sank further and further away from Playa as she tried one more time to reach Lin, hip spilling deep red into the dark water. Playa broke the surface once more, screaming out her misery and deep fury. She flailed over to the water’s edge, heaving herself onto the solid ground. Her hands and knees struggled to keep her upright, tears joining the river water and blood that dripped onto the cold concrete floor. Another bitter wail left her body, fist slamming hard into the floor as she choked on her own cries. </p><p> </p><p>  She rose, standing tall with a face set in a hysteric mania. Her hand twitched, itched with a need for vengeance. She dropped her <em> stupid fucking </em>coat and launched her beanie to the side as she stalked her way up the stairs and towards the street, not looking back at the spot where the car had been pushed from. A VK stood on the corner of the street she was approaching, and she didn’t even stop as she threw her elbow into his face, grabbing the gun from his hip and loading his head with lead. She continued, her pants slick and stuck to her skin, white shirt tight to her chest and stained a deep red. She reached the road congested with cars, her luck turning around as Sharp’s car roared towards her.</p><p> </p><p>  Stepping out into the road, she lined her shot up and burst the driver’s head open, the car careening into a streetlight. The walk to the car was slow, like a thousand years were passing by her, yet her animosity stormed harder than ever. Playa made it to the car, the shocked look on Sharp’s face bringing a chilling smile to hers. He tried to open the crushed door, blood trickling from a shallow cut on his forehead. She raised the gun but stopped, her eyes catching on a glint of metal on the body of the driver. She could’ve cried. She settled for grabbing the grenade, pulling the pin and dropping it in the car before she walked away, pushing a man off his Melbourne bike. She sat on it as she watched the car explode, the cold smile falling from her face as a shiver took over her frail body. In between the dancing flames, she could see what was left of William Sharp’s body, charred and mangled, the fire burning hot yet all she felt was cold. Everything was cold.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>  She arrived as the dawn broke across the skies above Stillwater, bright and beautiful, too beautiful for a shithole city on a shitty fucking day like this. The church was quiet, barely any Saints were ever around this early, too high or hungover. She could barely even hit the breaks, the bike smashing into the wall around the graveyard and almost flinging her forward. She kept her head down as multiple sets of footsteps echoed out of the church doors, Johnny’s voice dropping confused profanities.</p><p> “Hey, you okay, kid?” Julius asked, his hand on Playa’s shoulder shocking her out of her stupor and she raised her head to him, eyes brimmed with tears. “Playa?”</p><p> “I’m sorry, Julius, I’m so fucking sorry…” Sobs racked her body, wrath giving away to grief. Julius let his surprise at the young <em> woman </em> in front of him fade away, his hand on her shoulder like an anchor, but she was fucking sick of drowning.</p><p> </p><p>  “What the fuck is goin’ on?” Johnny stared between Julius and Playa, taking a moment to actually recognise her. She never looked that small before. Maybe it was the coat being gone, maybe something else.</p><p> “Lin…” Playa’s voice was thick with a heartache that scared him, his face quickly scrunched in anger. “They - they knew she was runnin’ with us, it was a setup…”</p><p> “She’s..?” Johnny’s voice, low and violent, struck Playa hard, the woman gasping for air like she was still in the water, tears flooding her vision.</p><p> “He fucking shot her, I-I couldn’t,” She stopped for a moment, gulping down a few breaths before continuing “I couldn’t get her out of the trunk… I should’ve, god I should’ve been able to get her. Why couldn’t I fucking get her?” </p><p> “This ain’t on you Playa, I know you did everything you could,” Julius assured her, helping to pull her off the bike and taking a moment to check the wound on her hip.</p><p> </p><p>  Johnny turned away from them, storming towards the church as Julius lifted Playa’s arm over his shoulder, dragging her along. Johnny stopped at the doors of the church, slamming his fist into the wall and charging inside the old building, Julius aiding Playa inside too. Playa was sat down in Johnny’s chair, Johnny pacing his office as Julius wrapped his jacket around Playa. </p><p> “They ain’t gonna get away with this. We can’t fucking let them get away with this!” Johnny yelled, the hand running through his hair shaking. </p><p> “I killed William Sharp. He was the leader, the one that shot her. Motherfucker’s prob’ly still burning up in his car.” Playa’s voice had faded into a cold, even tone, all the pain and sorrow now gone as if it had never even been there in the first place. </p><p> “Anyone else we need to take out?” Johnny finally stopped pacing, his eyes on fire as he landed them on Playa, her lips trained into a sharp line.</p><p> </p><p>  “Joseph Price, William’s nephew. Little brain, big muscles, bigger car.” Playa stood up, limping towards Johnny as she looked at him, Johnny gave her a nod. “And some little fucking mechanic. Don’t think he’ll be around too much, though.”</p><p> “We’ll handle it, Playa.” They’d only done a few jobs together, barely even knew each other really, but now they felt bonded in blood, in shared grief. Playa didn’t have to - or want to - elaborate on her relationship to Lin. He knew that. He wasn’t good with words anyway.</p><p> “They’ll pay for this.” Julius started, walking over to Johnny and Playa, “We ain’t gonna let ‘em hit us again. We’re taking the fight to the Rollerz.”</p><p> </p><p>  “Yeah, well, we might have to rethink that plan.” Troy’s voice was unwelcome, Playa groaned at his intrusion. She was getting pretty sick of this guy. “Word is, every Roller that Price could find is headed this way.”</p><p> “How much time we got?” Julius asked, his imposing body turned to Troy and he took a few steps towards the man, taking in the scrawny little fucker’s words intently.</p><p> “Shit man, I don’t know. My man says they’re movin’ pretty fast.” Troy looked to Playa, noticing the dark red patch of her shirt stuck to her skin and his eyes widened.</p><p> “Then we take ‘em the fuck out,” Playa announced, grabbing a shotgun that was laying on Johnny’s desk. <em> ‘For Lin…’ </em></p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>  The fresh grave stands out like a sore thumb against the dried and hard soil of all the others in the old graveyard on 3rd Street. It’s only a few days old, but it’s surrounded by flowers and notes, things the Saints all wanted to say to her. Playa just couldn’t think of anything to say that was worth a damn. She’s sorry? She wouldn’t forget her? She wished they had more time? Lin knew that, she wasn’t stupid. It’s patronising to think that she’d need to be told with a fucking scrap of paper. Playa’s heart feels so heavy, so she decided it was time to give up the burden, that’s what she’d leave at her grave. There’s no room for a heart in her line of work anyway.</p><p> </p><p>  “We should’ve kissed some more. We were pretty good at that. Gone on a date maybe, no gang shit, just us. Just us… I didn’t even know if you liked flowers. Or how you looked with your hair down. Or if you even liked me the way I liked you. I sure fuckin’ hope you did, or this is getting pretty creepy.” Playa lets out a little defeated laugh, sniffling as she looked at the gravestone for the first time. “Should’ve been me, not you...”</p><p> Playa’s voice is broken, the sting of so many unsaid words, so many unlived moments. It wasn’t supposed to fucking end. Not like this. Not to Lin. Tears stream down her face, she lets them. This would be the last time she ever let herself be vulnerable again, the last time she would ever let herself cry like this. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>  “You were never his girl, but, god I wanted to be yours."</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>